free sms jokes

1-Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

2-What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

3-The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

4-Q: What does a blonde owl say?

5-A: What, what?

6-WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

7-What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

8-Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

9-Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

10-What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!

11-What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

12-Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

13-A: Her IQ goes up.

14-Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

15-Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

16-I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

17-I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

18-How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

19-For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

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